Shopping for Godot

There are seventeen brands of water
on sale at Trader Joe’s and I’m thinking
Smart Water infused with
lavender essence, zero parts per billion,

because I want to be smart,
and lavender sounds like a Spring meadow—
lovers and their children,
being chased by bees

all the times I ran and how good
I got at running
at eating

grass-fed free-range
environmentally enlightened beef
with an e-Coupon
redeemable for negative karma

gluten free organic non-GMO Gala apples
each handcrafted by a wild
Arizona mustang’s bastard Kachina-child.

It’s such a relief to be healthy again.

My eyes stare Hubble-blue at you.
I’m four inches taller than Jesus.
My abs are six-pack pop-top aphrodisiacs.

You, with eight reasons to doubt me,
forget your list and
help me carry these heavy bags.



Image Credits: Onkwawenna Kentyohkwa

Eliot Jacobson

Eliot Jacobson is a retired professor of mathematics living in Santa Barbara, CA. He spends his time hiking with his dog Rosie, docenting elephants at the Zoo, playing Irish music, performing in theater and opera, and reading and writing poetry. Eliot has published three books on gambling.

eliot-jacobson has 4 posts and counting.See all posts by eliot-jacobson

3 thoughts on “Shopping for Godot

  • December 3, 2017 at 2:04 am

    A delight to read Eliot. I can almost hear the rug being pulled. Wit that cuts before breakfast means I can have my organic oatmeal now with a smile. C

  • December 7, 2017 at 9:07 am

    Enjoyed this. Written with intelligence and humour.


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