Alternative Realities

I use a Van Ness Litter Scooper ($2.39) to clean Gracie’s box.
They are on sale today, 20% off, a savings of 48 cents each,
alternatively, I could buy five for the price of four.

If I owned five more Van Ness Litter Scoopers—
I would use the first to serve pasta,
the second as a fly swatter,

the third to make it cool in October, like it used to be
when we lived near horses,

the fourth would help me find the ring I threw into the ocean
(I’ve forgotten which ocean),

the fifth would be used to wave hello to you from a great distance
or for clearing rain gutters and minor causeways.

do not ask me for another miracle.

At this moment I own only one Van Ness Litter Scooper
and Gracie’s sure to shit again tomorrow.