How to win an argument: lesson #17

the lifespan of a
common hummingbird
is 20 to 25 years
and i know hummingbirds

my cat likes to eat them,
but they’re hard to catch

she stalks them for hours
then settles for doves and lizards

there’s more lizards
than anything else around here
many with half-a-tail
and all those poor doves missing a foot
it’s very sad

i feed hummingbirds equal portions water and sugar
with red food coloring
ten drops

there are a lot of red hummingbirds
in costa rica

i’m telling you,
i was there in ’04 and saw them all

it’s the hummingbird capital
of the world

there’s so many the locals go
on hummingbird hunts

they scoop them out of the sky
with big nets
then grind them into
gourmet cat foods

 cat obesity is
a big issue

they have hummingbird-themed
grocery stores,
feather outlets,
knockoffs sneakers

hosiery, breath mints

a hummingbird

everyone in costa rica wants to
learn about hummingbirds

twenty to twenty-five years

that’s right